Grandma

I wish I knew more about medical stuff. Or, I wish I knew someone who knows about medical stuff. My grandma just had another stroke yesterday. She had one on the 7th of April, and now the 7th of May. Fortunately, this one, apparently, didn't leave any lasting damage to her brain. The first one, well, we're still waiting on the outcome.

(Update: I just learned that this second episode wasn't a stroke. But, what it was related to is even more confusing and weird. Apparently it has to do with the scar tissue from the first stroke and with an infection she has had. Why that affects her memory is beyond me.)

I wish I knew more though because I don't know the questions to ask; I don't know the timeframe of when we might expect some changes; I don't even know what I don't know. And I hate that feeling. I feel very much out of the loop and unable to help. And, I'm a helper. I love helping people. But I can't in this situation, and it drives me crazy.

My husband thinks something might be wrong with Grandma's wiring. Like, maybe, her breaker is faulty and every month, it shorts out. That is NOT a good pattern. But, for instance, I told a friend that Grandma had another stroke and she asked me "Isn't she on blood thinners?" I have no idea. I didn't know I should ask my relatives about that. And the communication has been like pulling teeth. What's new with her? What have your heard? Nothing? Really? Why? They haven't called you? Have you called them? Why not? When I call, I feel like I'm being annoying. I just want to go there and see her myself and talk to the doctors myself and try to figure out how worried I should be. At this point, I don't even know the worry-level. And that in itself worries me. And I'm a worrier. It's a wonder I don't have an ulcer.

All I know is, I don't know anything. And that worries me.